Dawson’s Creek

What do you get when you combine: teen angst, extreme sexual tension, blown-out drama, and a vocabulary book? Dawson’s Creek. A show that was so horrible, yet so entertaining, that I just HAD to watch it. So I did. And you probably did too.

It’s time for another episode of: “Embry’s slightly satirical synopsis”!!!!

Dawson’s Creek: your token teen sitcom/soap opera of the late 90s. It starred…

Dawson: The guy who looked way too fucking old to be in high school, dreamed of being a filmmaker, and could never grow a pair of balls. He grew up with his parents who were both equally slutty (must run in the family), across the “creek” from Joey.

Joey: The girl-next-door (or in this case, girl-across-the-“creek”). She grew up with her sister and her sister’s child because her Mother was long passed and her father was in prison. She also grew up with Dawson and fell in love with him for some reason. When that doesn’t work out she ends up just being a bitch.

Pacey: The black sheep (or unlikely hero, however you want to view it) of the group. His family generally sucks, so he sticks to his friends and supplies the show with quite a bit of humor. Basically, he provides about 75% of the show’s real entertainment. And he is also quite a ladies man… Old? Psychotic? Random? Pacey don’t care. Pacey don’t give a shit. He does what he wants.

Jen: Hailing from New York, Jen is the village drama queen, plus a total whore. She wreaks havoc upon every life she touches, and then whines about how her life is so sad. If you watched the entire series, then you know it had a happy ending. Jen died. And all was right with the world again.

Andie: Anal, bipolar, anxiety-ridden buzzkill of the group. While she was all this, she was always my favorite character simply because she was the only one who was ever justifiably dramatic. The rest of them bitched and whined just for the sake of doing so. Andie’s life actually did kind of suck. So bravo, Andie: you win the Indelicato Award for Reasonable Reactions. Oh yeah, and her brother was Jack.

Jack: The unassuming gay guy who mainly tried to just mind his own business, but ended up getting dragged through the drama pool with everyone else. Poor Jack. I bet he never saw any of it coming either. He wasn’t really the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. He was hott though. And hott is good, people.

There were lots of other characters weaving their way in and out of the show throughout it’s lifetime, but those six were the skeletal structure of the series

I always loved the episodes when Andie was having a nervous breakdown and seeing her dead brother. That was fun. And in my opinion, I think she looked better as a brunette. Just saying.

There’s not really much else to say about the show…. I guess I could mention that pretty much everyone slept with everyone else at one point or another; But I think that was the show’s main plot line.

So let’s all take a moment and remember Dawson’s Creek…. You were kind of like the Jersey Shore before it’s time and you partied on for six seasons. Excellent.